Lockdown purge: Look for love within and not outside

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lockdown love

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In today’s time of dating and meeting, we have lost the value of true love. And bingo we have dating sites if one will go another will come. But when you are stuck in four walls of your room during this lockdown, you all must be realizing what’s next? Something parted away, and I have no room to look for an alternative. You feel devastated and drowned in your thoughts and feelings. Here is the problem we try to look for love outside, and we never care about prospering love within. Love isn’t a word; it is an emotion and feeling which needs nurturing.

I feel we are more depressed nowadays because we seek love outside rather than pursuing it within. I was reading one news in the morning, which completely blew my mind that a teenager took his life by jumping from the top floor because of rejection from the girl he approached. I wonder why life has become so less for us that we can’t take rejections. The answer is we never try to look within. We always want the outside world to put a stamp on us to bloom. We are living in a society where having a relationship is merely a status goal rather than respect and real feelings. 

This is the time we should understand what the real meaning of love is, and it is not what you should seek love outside but within. We often use this three-letter word so casually that it has lost its meaning. The real sense of love is not what someone has to offer you, but it is how much joy you have within to attract this lovable energy in your surroundings. During this time where some people are stuck alone, and have nobody to interact with are mesmerizing old good times- when they used to walk through the streets and meet people.

People might end up feeling depressed and lonely due to a lack of interaction with the outside world, which is a mirage. Having a life vision is essential because if you don’t have this in today’s world, you are being manipulated like a puppet on strings. Understanding your inner self is more important than having a bright career, fantastic love, and fruitful belongings. When we are co-dependent on someone to decide our happiness, these problems are created. Co-dependency leads to faded love because there will be a time when another person won’t be able to serve your level of expectations, and that will slow the zeal of the connection. The moment you know the momentum of togetherness is not in the hold of other people but within you, their actions won’t affect you much, your expectations will be less, and so does the sorrow.

Our generation I think to live in misconception; love is not a noun; it’s a verb with full of actions. It is something we choose to do irrespective of others’ take on it; it is we choosing loving sentiments. Love is generosity in every moment of life, be it a friend in need or crow needing water. It is beyond our thoughts of acceptance and rejections. If you wish to strengthen this concept, learn to be selfless rather than being clingy and offensive that someone has turned me down, and I have to show them my value. Value is something that is earned and not showed. Unfortunately, we don’t realize when we think we are doing things for other’s sake; we are still motivated by selfishness, which takes over our love in the form of acceptance and rejection.

Just ponder over it; in all relationships, we are motivated by the recognition of return, reward, and reciprocation. But when we substitute this feeling within, we tend to expect from ourselves only. The thing is, our generation has to believe in the power of generosity rather than reciprocation. The more you manifest art of giving and nurturing, the more you will realize you attract joy yourself. Even in conditions when people say they are in unconditional love, it fades away with time, it is not working, it doesn’t lead to happiness.

When we say we are in love, we feel the certain sweetness of joy within ourselves. Still, here the problem is– it is a person who stimulates it within you, it doesn’t matter who triggered it, but mostly it happens within you. Well, there is this saying that love is in the air, so I am just trying to clear the motion here. Love is not in the air; you see those blooming flowers and moving clouds because of your psychological feeling of love within you. Maybe something that was happening within you was so exuberant that love is in the air was just not a phrase and became a reality. Although, I don’t want to destroy all the romance which exists in society. It is good that you have to experience exuberant emotions because that is the gist of life. But we all are forgetting that it is triggered and stimulated by somebody.

Feeling of love is more like respect and care, and the more you do it for yourself, the more it will be nurtured by others for you. It is not always necessary to find a key to feel such an experience when there is no lock eventually. It is essential to be a self-start machine; otherwise, what happens with time these love affairs become ugly and tedious because you try to extract your happiness from another person. There are two ways to be in relationship one is when you try to extract, and other is when you try to share. Just recall what happens when you try to share your chocolate, you only offer it if somebody takes it you give else you eat it to flourish sweetness of it within you.

If you are a joyful person, other people will also try to be with you. Still, if you are in misery, nobody will be there to support your aggression and anger. Often romantic relationships can be like a deck of cards. They began with diamonds and hearts and ends with spades and clubs; you know what I mean. Love at first sight and divorce at first fight. Ever wondered what makes a relationship meaningful? Love in a relationship goes down with time, but respect for each other’s individuality doesn’t die down with time. Feelings go down with time and not respect, which creates the foundation of the everlasting journey. 

Remember, it’s always going to be a mad world, and loving your self won’t make it any less scary, but it will make you a little braver every day. Do not lay down your life for such emotions, which are mirage and non-existential. There are many things to look beyond in this time, but most important is to not find love outside, but within yourself so that you can offer it to the world at the time of need. 


Featured Image Credits: Sri Harsha Dantuluri

Ayushi Sharma
Ayushi is a Research Professional working in the field of science and public health. By education she is an anthropologist and completed her studies from Miranda House, University of Delhi. She is an ambivert in nature with a defined and skeptical view. She is free spirit and a feminist.

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