Death, loss, and pain: The triad of life

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Sudden and shocking news in my family has shaken up all of us. One of my cousins-in-law, aged between 45 to 50 years, is no more. This news came over my mobile phone. It is not yet a year that we all met in our brother’s marriage ceremony last time. After hearing the story, so many memories came back and forth in our minds. A week has passed, but we three (me and my parents) still cannot endure the loss. However, life goes on, regardless of whether one has overcome the pain of the loss or not. 

The truth about life and death

Life is mysterious. So is death. Moreover, death is inevitable and a possibility that can come to confront any of us all of a sudden. One moment you are enjoying a telephonic conversation with your dear ones, and the next one may be your last call. There is a saying, ‘Life is the greatest lie, while death is the most painful truth.’ 

Life of some people comes to an end very abruptly and at a very early stage. Such sudden and untimely losses are even more pathetic. The reasons could be anything like accident, severe and sudden illness, or any other mishap. However, the pathos of permanent loss is unbearable for the near and dear ones. 

The pain of untimely death

Life and death are inextricably linked. This is a known fact to everyone. While anticipated deaths due to age or prolonged terminal illness are painful, unpredicted, or sudden, death gives shocking pain. If the person whom you hold very dearly in your life, you will be shocked in disbelief at their sudden demise, more than grief. The pain becomes unbearable and never-ending. Yet, nothing is permanent. Grief or pain also does exist but doesn’t make us feel the same lifelong. Everyone gets habituated with the loss of near and dear ones, with time, and the intensity of the pangs of pain fades.

Still, at the very first instance of the incident, you will recollect the days or the moments spent together, the shared events, the words that he or she used to tell, of the best and worst experiences you both have shared. Immense repentance due to our unpleasant or improper behavior with that person whom we lost overwhelms at times, along with despair. But with the pain and the guilt, we have to move on. The urge to live the moment with a person in a better way crosses our mind, but with no avail. Unfortunately, death doesn’t give us a second chance to rectify. Death is a natural eventuality of life. However, while life comes with symbols as well as actions, death is silent. All of a sudden, death comes, sometimes without any intimation. 

Emotive outflows

This piece of write-up is not to elaborate on the facts to differentiate between birth and death. My point is birth and death both are a natural phenomenon. Then why should we celebrate the birth of an individual and mourn on death? Death is nothing but leaving the mortal body of a human being and combining with the five elements of this universe. These are not myths, but some research and study on death revealed this fact. However, my point is not to focus on the death itself or what happens to the soul after physical death. The point is, what causes so much pain and grief about the loss of loved ones? Is it only dependency? According to my perspective, it is not only due to dependency. 

Losing near and dear ones 

Many aspects and consequences come after death. One of them is feeling helpless and lonely. When people lose their near and dear ones, the pain is remembering the old days of happy and sad times. The memories often lead to more grief. Also, the thought of not able to see them after this loss is the most saddening part. Missing those people who are connected with every aspect of your life is the most natural as well as spine-chilling. Whatever you try to concentrate on, your focus gets shifted to the memories of the departed soul. When a person leaves your family, you will memorize everything about him or her. Not only because of some material and emotional dependency but also in search of their love, affection, and special bonding with you.

Pain of tragic deaths

Several abnormal deaths must also be considered while talking about life endings. The murders, murder after a rape, road accidents, and deaths due to different illnesses are in the account. When the time will come and how one will come close to their end is not known to anyone. Not even astrology can ever predict accurately how you are going to Heaven or Hell. In the social media platforms, in the news channels and newspapers, you can get several tragic death incidents of people. Such news leaves us with an extremely saddened heart and a disturbed mind, sometimes, which even enrages and also makes the reader helpless and vulnerable. The much-updated death oriented news in today’s times is COVID-19 casualties, the Palghar murder case, and the rape and murder case in Nadia district of West Bengal.

Each of the three cases is different and heartbreaking. However, the feelings in each case are mixed. The first one is a worldwide pandemic, and the feelings associated with this is panic, worry as well as interest in knowing how this can be eliminated, the common thoughts that hover on everyone’s mind. However, in the latter cases, hatred, anger, and a demand to punish the guilty as soon as possible are the possible reactions. For every thinking human being, the later cases will also ignite the suspicion against humankind. 

Beyond the fear of death

The stories of death, hatred, fear, crimes will continue until civilization comes to extinction. However, amidst all these, there are positives to ponder over. People should concentrate on the positive aspects of life instead of focusing on negative outcomes. There are times when it is almost impossible to focus on the positive sides of life, but everyone should keep trying this. That does not mean you can avoid death by riding on optimism, but you can live life with ease and with peace till death and make the best out of life. Although it is up to the individual mentality, strength, and upbringing that determines how the person will act, behave, or think in a situation that would ultimately define one’s life.


Featured Image Credits: Wikimedia

Maitrayee Adhikary
Maitreyee Adhikary is a Durgapur based writer by passion and wish to be a well-known name with her words.

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5 COMMENTS

  1. “Everyone gets habituated with the loss of near and dear ones, with time, and the intensity of the pangs of pain fades.” Reality…

  2. We must believe that we are predestined to experience the chain of happiness & grief one after another.. we can’t avoid the unavoidable, come what may…

    “Whether the truth be stormy or breezy
    Let it on your mind sit easy” ……. Tagore

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