A poet’s desperate attempt

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It’s She Versus She 
She thought nobody understood
Her strange and elusive mood 
But finally, she thinks somebody does 
The self-berating 
The uneasiness 
The inadequacy 
The unceasing worry
The knot in the chest 
Always feels like she could use a rest 
She often thinks she is taking sadistic test 

She has rhymed enough for now 

Modern science addresses with meds the mumbo jumbo 
But why is she still in a limbo 
Always feeling the need to impress
But secretly she craves a caress 
She thinks her rhymes are cheesy 
But lest they aren’t sleazy

She has rhymed enough for now 

She fears uncertainty 
She fears failure 
She fears fear 

Dwelling in the past 
Overwhelmed by the future 
How to seize the moment, she wonders 
Regrets are too many now 

They say it’s all in her head 
Is it? 
They ask her to be positive 
And to just live
To see what she has 
To not keep sobbing  
So, now she feels like a perpetual burden
Once she tried to unburden 
To cease the crippling pain
To be showered with a joyous rain 

She has rhymed enough for now 

She finds happiness in sadness 
And sadness in happiness 
Clichéd or not? 

She always sees the glass half empty
With so much sorrow and tragedy 
She wonders if there is a God
But she sure found a dog 

She is a hypochondriac 
Or is it close to being a maniac
She wonders 
She is often in a conflict 
Exhausted of being exhausted
Feeling like a broken loop 

Getting too long isn’t it? 
Please bear with me. 

She craves normalcy 
But what is ‘normal’ 
She never feels enough 
Always desperate to please
An overthinker 
Gladly not a compulsive drinker 
But dreads to be an occasional smoker 

She wants to, but she can’t
She tries, but she lies 
At this point she is wondering 
What is it that she is writing? 

She keeps seeking validations 
As she is never proud with her creations 

She has rhymed enough for now 

She wonders why she can’t love herself 
The way she does with others 
She is trapped in an open cage 
With repressed rage 
And the semblance of a sage (or not) 
The cage is open 
But she is sadly happy to be broken 
She has dug herself a bottomless pit 
There is no landing
Isn’t it saddening? 

She has rhymed enough for now 

She was once violated or multiple 
Remembering it isn’t easy 
She is quite lazy 
Hoping it doesn’t recur 
But life isn’t fair I suppose 

She is insecure
Desperately trying to seek a perfect cure 
But, for once she feels 
She will be understood 
She won’t be labelled crazy or messy 
She will be loved and not judged 

Or is it? Sorry, she has trust issues 

Now, she thinks she hasn’t rhymed enough 
Overthinking if this got too stretched out 
She is pulling her hair out 
Hasn’t covered it all 

Oh dear, tell her to calm down 
Before she drowns 

She has rhymed enough for now 

Featured Image Credits: Pickpik